What Actually Matters in Your 20s

Maybe, you’re living it all wrong

smoul
Practice in Public
Published in
6 min readMar 10, 2024

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Photo by Lucie Morel on Unsplash

I turned 23 recently and it changed my perspective of life. It usually happens often when you reach a certain age. I wanted to become a teacher when I was 6, a doctor when I was 10, a physics professor when I was 14 and an entrepreneur when I turned 18.

People often start their sentences with “Get good grades and your life will be sorted”. So I did as they said and excelled in my classes.

Then they changed to “Get into a good college and your life will be sorted”. So I did. I entered one of the most prestigious universities in my country but guess what, the confusion and dilemmas did not go away.

From the beginning of life, you are told what to do and how to be happy in your life.

Get good grades -> Stay out of trouble -> Get in a good University -> Get a job which pays good -> Start a family

Is this all that life is about?

Maybe I am not the smartest person to tell you what matters in your 20s because I have not lived them all yet — I’m still midway. But maybe I am the person who can tell you the truth without sugarcoating it. The blunt truth about how I will live the rest of my 20s

Embrace the Journey, Not the Destination

I know this is a weird age to be in. Some of your friends are already earning twice as you are right now. Some as getting married and having kids. Some are living their dream of travelling around the world.

In your eyes, everyone around you is doing better in life than you currently are — be it financially, spiritually or emotionally. This just keeps making you doubt yourself.

You’ve had different problems in your life and you’ve had to face them alone. Your twenties are not about proving anyone wrong, they’re about finding the things that make you happy. Embrace the twists and turns, the highs and lows, and the unexpected detours that shape your path.

So, instead of fixating on where you think you should be by a certain age, focus on the journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Pursue Passion with Purpose

Let me tell you a secret. I have a degree in engineering. So after spending all my money on getting this degree, I should logically be pursuing engineering — working for organisations and quietly getting my money.

For some time after graduating, yes, I did that. But the way I was living was eating me away. Waking up before the sun rises, travel 2 hours cross country to reach my office, working with people who are twice my age and don’t like to talk. My professional life was making me cranky. I was unhappy

So I left my job, pursued what I loved, started working on my solo projects and connected with people globally. It was one of the toughest times as I was unemployed and searching for a job that made me happy.

If I had not left my job then, I wouldn’t have the courage to leave it ever. Because then the bills would pile up, I would grow older and then have no real chance to change careers.

Your twenties are where you pursue your passions. Find the things you love and experiment as much as possible. You’re just out in the adult life — think of it as your second birth.

Make mistakes. Take chances. Do what you love.

Take Good Care of Yourself

Don’t. Compromise. Your. Health.

That’s it. Your decisions and habits today shape the person you’re going to be. This is your time to make the most of your body and energy. Go out for runs. Pick a sport and play it frequently. Don’t just sit in front of your gaming setup or watch series all day (no matter how leisurely it may be).

Eat healthy and sleep early.

It’s easy to neglect your physical and mental health in the hustle and bustle of life, but your twenties are the perfect time to prioritize self-care. Start by nourishing your body with nutritious food, getting regular exercise, and making time for activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. Remember, taking care of yourself now will pay dividends in the long run.

Dreams Require Sacrifice

If you have big dreams, be prepared to make big sacrifices.

Success rarely comes easy, and achieving your goals will demand hard work, dedication, and perseverance. You’ll have to learn how to say NO.

Your friends will be out partying. Someone will call you to come out and spend it in a way that you don’t want to. Now I’m not saying to skip all social gatherings. I’m saying you should learn how to pick which gathering you want to go to.

It means putting in the hours, making sacrifices, and staying committed to your vision, even when the going gets tough. Remember, every sacrifice brings you one step closer to your dreams.

Live Like a Typical Bachelor

Make as many memories as you can, and it requires you to step out of your comfort zone. To put it in an even better way

Seek Discomfort

Before getting anything ask yourself — “Do I need it or do I want it”

The day you master answering this question truthfully — you’re going to save so much time and money. Live on things that make your life easy not comfortable. Step out with your friends, go to parties and socialise but never at an expense where your work or personal life suffers.

Don’t hesitate to make new friends and talk to more people. You’ll be surprised at how much you can learn from a diverse group of people.

Teach Yourself What Your School Didn’t Teach

Taxes, investing and saving up money have got to be the key to becoming financially sound. Start learning about them as soon as possible. I enrolled myself in classes that taught me how to invest in stocks and save my money smartly.

Your twenties will teach you that there are so many things that you should’ve learned a long time ago but since no one else taught you, you’ll have to teach these things to yourself. You’ll have to put in the extra hours and make yourself smarter — never shy away from these opportunities.

Be hungry for knowledge and save money where you can.

People Will Change, Don’t Force It

As you are mitigating your twenties, you’ll notice that the behaviour of some people around you is changing. Sometimes it is a good change, sometimes it reeks of trouble.

You’ll find that a friend is distancing themselves from you or your thoughts just no longer align. Know that it is no one's fault. They are also growing with time and discovering themselves. Everyone is in a journey of their own and you cannot force people to remain the same. You have to grow too.

It’s heartbreaking because you’re growing apart from people you thought would play a big role in your future, and making good friends again can sound like extremely hard. It takes a lot more work to see and spend time with friends, and at times you will realize they’re not willing to put in the effort.

You cannot expect people to take care of you like you take care of them. With time, you will find the people who stick with you and are happy to make room for you in your life.

Know You’re Enough

Maybe nothing matters in your twenties. Maybe everything does. Maybe you’ll find the answers early. Maybe you’ve figured it all out already.

There is no right way you can live your life but there is only one thing that never changes — know your value and know you’re enough.

In case no one has told you yet — you’re not supposed to have it all figured out. It’s okay if you’re taking time to pave your way. Take this time to understand what you want from your life and live it without fearing any societal pressures

Give your dream a chance.

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smoul
Practice in Public

3X Top Writer | Writing about audience building, productivity and growth. Get Bi Weekly tips from: https://notaprodigy.beehiiv.com/subscribe